Inspiration for a joyful and creative life

This painting is by my husband, Greg Evans. www.evansart.com

This is a wrap up of the series “Ten Reasons NOT to have what you want”

All the reasons in the world of why you don’t have what you want are limiting beliefs and thoughts.

Most of them aren’t even true.

But no matter where they came from or the fears or doubts that they mask, you have the choice to take responsibility for turning things around.

Once you take responsibility, and notice when you are giving yourself the same excuses that have kept you from having what you want, you have the chance and the choice to change them.

It may take some time and it will probably feel unnatural and a bit uncomfortable at first.

Having a sense of humor along with a good dose of patience will help a lot.

“Don’t die with your music still inside you. Listen to your intuitive inner voice and find what passion stirs your soul”   -Wayne Dyer

I truly believe if there is something you love to do, it needs to be expressed in some way.

The one good reason to do what you love is that your life and the life of those you touch will be enriched.

It doesn’t have to be your profession.  It may be something you do as a volunteer.

It may be something you do in your spare time.  It may be something you simply share with those around you.

If you leave with your music still in you, the rest of us will be missing out.

If this resonates with you, you might enjoy this post from Steve Pavlina, who writes about personal development.

I hope this series has helped you get a different perspective on the reasons you stop yourself from having a life you love.

And the next time you say, “I can’t”, you’ll make a choice to say, “How can I create the life I want?” instead.

Have you ever found yourself saying that you can’t do it because someone has already done it?

This is the next to the last post in the series “Ten Reasons NOT to have what you want” before we wrap it up.

If you think about it, how many times have you seen a completely new idea that there is no variation of it anywhere on earth?

Just because someone has written a romance novel, started a business selling homemade cookies, or has a blog on creativity , doesn’t mean you can’t create your own version.

We each have our own experiences added to the mix of what we do that can add a unique voice or something just a little different.

Of course if you are simply copying someone else’s work, that is just wrong.

When Are There Too Many?

What if Stephen Spielberg had given up his dream because there were already too many film makers?

What if Einstein had decided to choose a different profession because there were too many scientists?

What if Wayne Dyer saw that there were already so many spiritual teachers, so why bother?

What if Elizabeth Gilbert, Author of Eat, Pray, Love thought there were too authors so she didn’t stand a chance.

You get the idea.

Maybe you won’t be famous but the point is if you have a gift or talent to share, it is there for a reason.  You were meant to use it.

Find a Balance

There is a balance of looking at what others have done, receiving inspiration from their work, and discovering the possibilities of your own.

You don’t need to reinvent the wheel but you don’t need to copy it either.

Begin to play with the possibilities and discover what you like about what others have done.

And then think about your own vision, your own experience, and how you might give something your personal, unique touch.

Watch for the next post that wraps up this series, called One Good Reason Why You Should.

This is continuing the conversation in the series “Ten Reasons NOT to Have What You Want”.

Sometimes you may not say the words out loud but your actions,  or maybe more appropriately,  your lack of action is because you are thinking, “I’m not good enough.”

Or maybe it is a variation like, “I’m not ready yet.”  Or “I’ll wait until I have more experience.” Or “Mine isn’t as good as hers (or his).”

If you are a perfectionist, these are reoccurring reflexive thoughts that often stop you in your tracks.

It could be that you somehow got this message when you were young and you’ve carried it with you for years.

This reason is also very closely related to I Don’t Deserve It.

It doesn’t matter why you have that message running through your head as much as it does what are you going to do about it?

Here are a few ways to challenge that thought.

Question if it is true.

Is it REALLY true?  Have other people given you compliments that you shrug off and tell them all the things that are wrong with your creation?

Have you ever seen a movie or read a book that critics raved about and you didn’t like it at all?  What is good enough or even great is a matter of opinion.

Have you ever heard someone sing from the church choir or community theatre that blew your socks off?  Someone else might be selling millions of records who isn’t necessarily more talented.

Change Your Automatic Thinking

Another way of thinking of changing this thought pattern is that it is simply a habit that you have unintentionally developed so your ego is protected.  If you don’t put yourself out there or share your work or your gifts, you can’t fail.

This has been a revelation to me.  If you are aware of a habit, you can change it.

Build Your Confidence Muscles

You may need to take some small steps to build your confidence muscles.  I remember reading a story about a writer who challenged herself to get 20 or 30 rejection letters.  She knew the more rejection letters she received, the more likely someone was going to accept her story.  She gave herself a reward for every 5 rejections she received.  Maybe you can set your own challenge.

Don’t Try So Hard

One of my favorite stories is from Oriah Mountain Dreamer’s book What We Ache For is an experiment in a pottery class.  One half of the class was told they just needed to make one really great pot, and the other class the only objective was to make several, and not worry about the outcome.  You can read more about it in this post on Creative Failures. 

Play More

This is similar to not trying so hard and not taking yourself so seriously.  You may be missing out on allowing yourself to enjoy the process if your expectations are always so high.

Remember when you were a kid and you would sing at the top of your lungs even though you were off key or proudly show your Mom and Dad your latest crayon masterpiece?

That little kid is still there, waiting for you to let them out to play.