How to Avoid Disappointment
Tuesday, June 21st, 2011
The other day I was having a conversation with my friend and she said she was afraid of doing something because she didn’t want to be disappointed again.
The only way to avoid disappointment is if you don’t have specific expectations.
Even in unimportant matters when you have an expectation and things turn out differently, you can be disappointed.
If someone tells you that they just saw the funniest movie, and you have to see it because you will just love it, that is what you will expect. Even if it is a good movie that you would have liked otherwise, when you don’t love it, your expectations won’t be met.
Does that mean you should lower your expectations?
I don’t think that getting in a habit of having no or low expectations is a good idea. However, it is worth practicing letting go of specific expectations.
This is a bit tricky and that is why I use the word practice.
There is a balance of having hope and visualizing that things turn out well without getting attached to things turning out a specific way.
Letting Go of Specific Expectations
The other day, my husband took our son and me out on a hike overlooking the Indian Peaks mountain range. He has been saying that it was one of the most beautiful hikes he’s been on ever since he went on a company outing there a few years ago. He has repeatedly told us how much we would love it.
The starting point of the hike is a 2 hour drive and in order to park anywhere near the trail you have to get there early.
He got us up at 5:30am on a Saturday morning. I am not a big fan of getting up early or having to skip my morning coffee routine, which is a long, leisurely ritual.
We drove to the recreation area and found that the gates for the road were closed for the season. It is at 10,000 feet elevation and they don’t open until June 30th when they hope the snow has melted.
I was rolling my eyes thinking I could have been snug in my bed dreaming of a café latte.
Instead, we walked along the road that circled two small lakes since the hiking trails were still covered in a thick blanket of snow.
It was a beautiful, perfect day. Not too hot, not cold, just right. The mountain peaks were iced with snow set against the pristine blue sky. It looked like the Swiss Alps.
It wasn’t the plan or what we expected but it turned out to be a great day.
What about the Big Stuff?
That was a small example of something that might happen on a day to day basis. But what about the bigger stuff like getting a new job, relationships, moving, starting a business, or choosing what you want to do with the rest of your life?
That is when you consider what matters to you and make your decisions based on who you are and what you want now. Not what happened in the past or what might happen in the future.
You can start moving toward the direction and the outcome that you want, while being hopeful and trying to let go of specific expectations.
The specific details of your goals, dreams, and desires might change as you are in the process of creating what you want.
What if it turns out better than you thought it could?
What if it looks different than you expected but is just as good?
What If you are Disappointed Again?
Once again, your disappointment will be because you thought it should turn out a certain way and it didn’t.
If you were painting a picture and decided it wasn’t what you wanted yet, you could continue to make changes to it until it reflected your vision.
Or you could begin a new canvas using the knowledge and experience you gained to get the result you want.
Another option is that you could choose to create something different than your original vision. Your vision changes and evolves as you continue in the process. It could be better than what you started out to create.
The same things hold true to creating what you want in your life. And the only way to is to begin the process.
